Surprises of a Life Left Behind
by gossipgirl411
Summary: After Chuck sold Blair to his uncle, she left. She completely disappeared. She left behind a life that had seemed to have given her nothing but pain. She only knew what abandonment was like. When she broke, she did what Serena did, only Blair didn't come back. There is no one named Blair Waldorf anymore. What happened to her? Is it too late for Chuck? Did he lose Blair forever?
1. Chapter 1

This is my first fan fiction so I apologize for any mistakes. I do not own any of these characters, or the story line of the show. All rights go to the show. Thank you!

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After the fight, Blair made her way back to her room, devoid of any feeling but her pain. The events of the evening were running through her head. Why had Chuck sold her to his uncle? Didn't he love her? She supposed that he did enjoy her company and felt those butterflies for her; he cared about the Empire and himself so much more. She only wondered if he had been lying to her the whole time they were together. She had to stop her train of thought, and get over the boy. She had once thought that he had grown up and become a man, but tonight had changed all of that.

What would her mother say about her now? She knew that Eleanor would be disappointed in her, thinking she was a failure and weak. She always had thought that Chuck made her weak, and she was tired of being so worthless. Why couldn't anyone stay and help her? Everyone one that she had loved hurt her or left her. Nate cheated on her with her best friend. That same best friend had left her alone afterward, leaving Blair alone to deal with her own problems. Her father had left her and her mother, abandoning her. Eleanor, her own mother, wished that Serena was her daughter, not Blair. Marcus had cheated on her with his own step-mother. Now Chuck had used her. What was wrong with her? What had she done wrong to make everyone hate her and leave her? She knew it had to be her because she was the only constant variable in each of her relationships.

She was broken. Chuck had been the straw that finally broke her back. She was tired of being worthless and unwanted. She couldn't stand the pain anymore. She was still a little girl inside, but she had given up on her dream of someone who would sweep her off her feet. Her haunted eyes no longer sparkled with the hope of a fairytale ending. She had to get out of this evil city.

She had once loved New York, and considered herself the Queen. Now she knew that she was not strong enough for the pain of power. She would give up her thrown and leave while she still could. If she stayed, only more pain would come. She would have to live the same pain each day, living her seemingly perfect life.

What a joke. Her life was far from perfect and she was tired of no one actually seeing her. Everyone always only saw her clothes, her fame, and her fortune. Why couldn't anyone see the pain that she tried to hide? She had thought that Chuck understood her, felt the same pain that she felt, but she was so wrong. He only liked the idea of Blair Waldorf, not the person she was. She was so blinded by her love for him that she didn't even notice that she had been played by two of the city's greatest players. She, with her perfect life and perfect grades, had failed to notice the trap. She suffered for that mistake, and she would always live that pain if she stayed.

So she had to get out. She had to leave and see the real world, escape from the endless circle of drama of the Upper East Side. She would do what Serena did, and disappear, only, unlike Serena, she wouldn't come back, and she didn't think she could live with herself if she stayed. She would fade away until she lost the little part of herself that was left after being torn to pieces time after time. She had never put herself back together quite right, and each time she tried she got torn back down. Each time she would try to piece together her sanity and dignity, she lost a part. No matter how hard she tried, she was never the same. She was just another nameless pretty face to the world. Only, everyone seemed to know that she was the Ice Queen, Blair Waldorf. She was the person that everyone hated and only wanted to be with to bring them some type of benefit. Except, each time it was at the cost of her. She was the person who was continually targeted and shot down. She was an animal at the zoo, caged. She could not escape her past; it could never be that easy for her. Everyone knew her secrets and laughed at her pain. No one asked her if she was ok, no one helped her up when she fell. They would pity her for a second, but then they would say that she brought it onto herself. It was always her fault. What made her become ensnared in the webs of the city's unknown ruler. Gossip girl knew everyone's secretes but no one knew who she was. The joke was truly on Blair for thinking that she was the Queen.

Blair had had enough of her self-pity, so she decided to do something about it. She stripped off the dress that the evil Jack Bass had given her and slipped into the bathroom. She took off her undergarment and looked at herself in the mirror. She grabbed her lipstick off of the counter and wrote on the offending image. After she finished, she smiled a broken, sad smile, and stepped into the shower. Then she let go.

Under the running water, she cried. She cried for herself, for her past, for her present, and for her future. She cried for her family, her friends, and for her lovers. As she finally dealt with her pent up pain, she made a promise to herself that these were the last tears that she would shed for this life. She could no longer be Blair Waldorf because there was nothing left of her, just a broken girl. She got out of the shower and moved on with her life.

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Dorota walked into Blair's roof the next morning and was astounded at the mess that was in front of her. Clothes lay on the ground, chairs overturned, and the bed looked as if someone had a restless night. But, she thought nothing of it. Blair had always had temper tantrums and could be quite the diva. The housekeeper only thought that perhaps Blair had fought again, but they always seemed to get back together and be stronger than ever. So, she made the bed and picked up the mess, throwing away the shreds of a beautiful gown. As she was moving into the bathroom, she noticed a note that was addressed to her on top of the bedside table. She was opening the letter when she moved into the bathroom. She looked up and a scream escaped her lips.

Written there, on the mirror, was a list. The list was titled "The Truth about Blair Waldorf", and listed horrible things that could not be true about her angel. It said things like slut, whore, Ice Queen, broken, depressed, blamed, alone, liar, worthless, hated, and abandoned. The worst part of the list was written at the very bottom, and was barely noticeable. It said "doesn't exist anymore". Blair Waldorf was no more.

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Shaky hands read the tearstained letter.

_Dear my darling Dorota,_

_ I cannot pretend to be perfect or happy anymore. I couldn't stand through one more betrayal without losing who I am, if there is anything left of me. I had to get out of this town and try to live a new life, a life filled with hope, truth, and secrecy. While I do know that I have made mistakes in the past, I do not feel like all of the pain that I have been through is worth the supposed glamour of this life._

_ I have made so many stupid decisions that lead to people being hurt, and each time the pain still comes back to me. Yet, no one stands by me when I get hurt but they look directly at me and tell me that I deserve everything that's coming to me. How could people be so cruel? I realize that I'm not perfect, and that I am a monster, I still suffer like they do._

_ I am so tired of living this lie that has become my life. So, you will find that I packed some of my clothes into a bag, grabbed some food and money, and left. I am running away from this past and hopefully into a much better future._

_ I will always love you and I hope that you never blame yourself. You were the only person in this city that truly cared for me, and you are my mom. You aren't the mother that Eleanor is, but as my mom, you were always there to help me and hold my hand. I just need a fresh start and I hope that one day you will find it in your heart to forgive me._

_With love from the person who once was Blair Waldorf._

And though the past was bittersweet, the perwson holding the letter had to let a teary smile break through knowing that there was still hope out there for this scared young girl who could grow into a strong woman.

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I am planning to upload another chapter soon. Please review and tell me of any mistake or problems that the story has so far.

Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone who reviewed. I do not have any rights to the characters or the plot of the tv-show, all rights belong to the show. I appologise for any mistakes in the story.

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Blair sat in the taxi, blindly staring out the window into the bleak darkness of the night. She wished she was able to melt into the shadows and disappear easily, but the reality of the effort required hit her. If she truly wanted to be gone from the clutches of the pain of the present, she would have to escape her past. Sighing, she pulled her Tory Burch sunglasses from her bag and placed them gently onto her nose, covering her raw eyes. She did not allow any more diamond tears to fall from those eyes.

Hiding from any cameras, she hailed a cab. She picked up her bags and slowly got into the cab.

"Where to?" the cab driver questions as she settles into her seat.

Anywhere but here, she answered to herself. "To JFK International Airport, please."

"Are you sure you have everything?" he said, staring critically at her minimal amount of baggage.

"There's nothing left behind for me here anymore."

The rest of the ride was silent, except for the occasional mutterings of the driver. When they arrived, she paid him what he needed and got out of the cab. Her escape from her past was now starting. She walked into the airport and approached the check in desk.

"Hello, I'm Blair Waldorf and I purchased a first flight ticket to Rome earlier this morning. And I only have my carry on here."

The young woman smacked her gum and rolled her eyes. "Here's your ticket for the 5 o'clock flight to Rome. Have a nice trip." And under her breath she said "your highness."

Blair put on her best I'm-better-than-you-and-we-both-know-it smile and strutted away. She might actually miss that part of being Blair Waldorf. Unfortunately, the past she was trying to get away from had taught her that smirk. Sighing, she sullenly made her made through the airport. When she reached the gate, she took one last look around her at the place she once called her kingdom, her home. Making a decision to leave it all behind, she turned and got onto the plane, closing that chapter of her life. Fairytales don't exist in her eyes anymore, and she refuses to wait for a prince to find her. It's time for her to write her own story.

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Blair got off of the plane and looked around. She knew that she couldn't stay here long because she was sure someone's PI was going to follow her path so she had to disappear and fast. It wouldn't be easy but _they _would tell the PI everything about her, so she would have to do something that no one would expect from her. It was now time to turn around the question her minions always asked, and instead use "What would Blair Waldorf never do?" Her hair and her clothes would have to change because they can easily track her based on her style through cameras. But, she would have to do a little shopping and scheming first.

She went into the city with her new plan of making a sudden dress code change. It would be a disappearing act. Now, she had to find a second hand store because she could trade in some of her clothes for new ones and money that is less likely to be traced.

Suddenly, she felt a buzzing coming from her purse. Her phone was alerting her of the latest gossipgirl post and she didn't really care for that. She knew it would have something about her at the airport or some hussy on Ch- _his _arm. She knew it was weak but she couldn't bring herself to say it yet. If it was about her being "spotted" getting on a plane, she just had less time to be able to get out of her life before she is sucked right back into the dark, painful cycle.

Couldn't they track her from her phone? Well, she supposed she could just sell it. That would give the PI's a false trail to follow, and give her some get away cash. Now, she had to delete all contacts from her phone. She deleted all of the voicemails, missed calls, emails, and texts from her mobile device and shutdown her subscriptions. She didn't need the person who would receive her phone to recognize her from a blast and sell her out. Secrets are to be kept secret now, without a masked villain snooping through her business.

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Blair felt strange in her new outfit. The black skinny jeans were not part of her usual outfit. The messy pony tail she was sporting was most surely on the "list of do not wear" for a Waldorf. She was trying to get away from that. She wore an off the shoulder shirt that was sweatshirt material and the shoes, well she liked the shoes. She couldn't wait to tell Eleanor- no more of that. Scolding herself, she readjusted the sunglasses on her face. The boots, covering up her calves to about her knee, had a slight heel to them, making her small stature seem less diminutive. The hot pink frames of the sunglasses matched the "_LOVE_" print on her grey top.

Walking down the street, Blair looked for an electronics store. She had already sold her phone at a pawn shop, so she was in need of a replacement. Finding the cheapest flip phone, she paid for the cheapest plan. Now, she had to book another flight, but she had to choose between two locations. But the third option did have so much potential. She could pose as a transfer student from America and complete her education there, free if she did well on the exam.

Yes, she was going to travel to France. With her new appearance, she could avoid her father and no one would expect her to go there to study. France seemed like the most obvious place she would go, so no one would expect for her to be there. They would look at more exotic locations before looking here. By the time they searched in France, she would have already left for somewhere else. Now, she had to fix her passport.

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Please comment and tell me of any mistakes the story has. Thank you!


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